Last day of July, and I’m at 9 weeks pregnant today. 

 I’m sitting here, trying to get motivated to get something done and its so hard.  I’m tired.  I just want to lay down and can’t quit yawning.  I’ve been feeling a little queasy in the mornings too. 

 The weekend was good.  A little slower than the previous two, but still pretty busy.  We got up early on Saturday for the Byron Bank race that Tim and Mackenzie ran in.  I ran a warm up and cool down with them and got to watch both of them finish.  Tim ran a huge PR, 17:21, pretty close to the 17:20 I ran there the year before.  I was so proud of him. 

 I got in my first 7 mile run that day but it was kind of broken up and a lot of it was slow because Tim seemed to want to run slower than normal.  So it really didn’t feel like anything special.  We told Mackenzie our news and she was happy for us. 

 Then we watched the Byron parade for a while with Val and Derek and Brooklynn (their baby girl) and got ice cream too!  We walked around at a farmers market and some little tent sales and bought a wooden board with hooks for our house. 

 Later I went to a party for Suzy and pretended to drink and stayed until about 9:30.  I was so tired.  I fell asleep on the couch sometime around 11 while Tim and I were watching the Olympics. 

 Sunday I was feeling really tired and lazy but had to go to the grocery store and do some errands around the house.  I went on a bike ride because I felt like I should since we’re doing the 43 mile ride with my parent’s this weekend, but I only went 16 miles and that seemed like a lot. 

 Tim’s family came over later for a cookout and we told them the news and of course they were really happy.  It felt good to finally start sharing our news.

 Yesterday I was supposed to run after work with Darla and Carol and go out to dinner afterwards.  I knew Darla only wanted to run 3 miles so I woke up and ran 3 in the morning figuring I’d run 3 that night too.  Well, we ended up not running and just going to dinner instead.  I ordered a burger and ate the whole thing!  I did feel guilty about not getting my run in so I got up extra early this morning and ran 7 with Tim. 

 This 7 was the whole way through so I finally feel like I’ve conquered 7.  I actually felt pretty good and we averaged 7:39 pace for the run.  Its just now that I feel like I ran a marathon!

 I just really look forward to the passing weeks and with each one I feel a little better that the pregnancy has progressed thus far.  I spend my weeks looking forward to the weekends and my weekends wishing they would slow down. 

 Lately, I’ve been thinking and dreaming a lot about the future and about still wanting to go after my goal of qualifying for the Olympic trials in the marathon.  I’m so thrilled that I’m pregnant and the little baby growing inside of me takes precedence over everything else right now.  But I still long for the feeling of a really good workout, or racing.  Just that feeling of pushing yourself, taking yourself to that painful place and surviving it and coming back stronger.  So it helps to picture it, even very far out into the future and I’ve even outlined a plan on how to get there again after the baby is born.  I’m hoping that I can qualify in a spring marathon in 2014- giving myself about 13 months after having the baby to get there.  There will be a progression and milestones I’ll need to hit along the way to believe that I’m on track, but it feels very possible.

 So as my body changes during these next several months to the point that its unrecognizable to me, I’ll have those dreams and those goals to think of and hopefully keep me sane and motivated. 

8 weeks pregnant belly shot

We’ve now been through the first couple appointments.  The first one was last Wednesday, and honestly not very much happened.  We met with a nurse and she gave us some information and then I went over to their lab and they took about 4 vials of my blood and some urine for some routine tests.  Haven’t heard the results of those yet.

 Friday’s appointment was the best appointment of my life!  We had our first ultrasound and got to see the baby for the first time.  I know that I shouldn’t have, but I’ve been reading all these posts in the pregnancy websites about first ultrasounds going all wrong so I was pretty nervous.  There are so many things that can go wrong in the first few weeks before knowing anything is wrong, like a tubular pregnancy, and empty gestational sack or a baby that’s too small or has no heart beat.  Thankfully, our baby was easy to see and had a heart beat that we were even able to hear.  So amazing, such a tiny little heart is beating at the incredible rate of 146 beats per minute.  There is a living, heart beating human growing inside of me!  Truly amazing!  We could even see the little white flicker of the heartbeat on the monitor.  Additionally, they dated me at 7 weeks, 3 days, instead of 7 weeks, 1 day like I had estimated.  So, yay!  Already a little further along than I thought!

 My running was pretty hard for me all last week but then on Saturday seemed to go a little bit better.  It was a very busy, very long weekend.  I took Friday off of work to help my sister with her wedding stuff and it ended up being a very long day.  The night before the wedding we were up until 1:30 am and I got up at 7 am to get my 6 mile run in.  And I had one of the best runs I’ve had in a very long time.  It was definitely a little faster than I’ve been going and I didn’t feel exhausted by the end either.  The remainder of the day I was running around and so busy.  My sister’s wedding went great and it was such a happy day spent with a lot of family, but it was a really long day and I feel like I’m still not recovered. 

 It was hard being around so much family on Saturday and not sharing the news, but it was my sister’s day and also it is too soon to be telling the world!

 Some of the pregnancy symptoms are really starting to show themselves lately.  On Sunday morning I had Tim run out to the store and get me some bagels, cream cheese and Silk Light Chocolate soy milk.  We had English muffins in the house but I wanted a bagel.  My belly felt really icky.  I haven’t thrown up yet, but I do get a queasy, not so great feeling.  Usually eating really seems to help.  Today however, after lunch I felt more queasy then I did before I ate.  So…I waited a while then ate more and that seemed to help.

 I’ve been weighing myself every Friday morning and this past weigh in I was shocked to see I’d gone up almost 2 full pounds!  I’m not worried about it yet, but I was just surprised.  Additionally, my stomach looks completely different.  It puffs out and just doesn’t look like the lean muscle I had seen not too long ago.  I’m not worried about it, my first priority is making sure the baby is getting enough nutrients, but I try to avoid looking in the mirror now when my shirt is off.

 My run this morning was not as easy as Saturday’s.  It wasn’t as bad as some of them have been but it was hard at a few points.  Still, I got through it and felt better afterwards. 

 My strength training on the other hand…ugh!  That has been so hard to stay motivated for.  I know I need to do it and its likely I won’t be able to do much of it later in the pregnancy, yet its sooo hard!  And I have no desire to do it!  But I don’t want my muscles to fade away either.  Plus I know its good for delivery if you’re stronger.  So, I’ve been compromising with myself.  I’ve gone from 3 days a week down to just 2 and instead of trying to gain, now I’m just trying to maintain what I have.  And even that seems so hard.  When all you feel like doing is laying down and sleeping, finding a way to do 25 push ups, followed by 25 tri dips, 15 push ups, 25 tri dips and then abs…its just a constant challenge to get myself to do it!

Me and Tim at my sister’s wedding

Running has been difficult for me the last few days.  Ironically, my IT band and related injuries seem fine.  I really believe the relaxin hormone from the pregnancy is relaxing my soft tissues so they feel great.  I have noticed though that sometimes my ligaments aren’t quite as supportive as they usually are.  I’ll step down and feel my knee suddenly move further than it should and a quick twinge.  Its mostly other things though that have made running more difficult.

 The motivation is one difference.  It hasn’t helped that its been scorching outside so I’ve started running in the mornings which means getting up earlier.  I’m more tired than I think I have ever been in my life.  The sleepiness is one thing but its this lethargic, just feel like lying there not doing anything that is really strange to me.  I’ve never been one to just sit around.  Usually during the course of the day I leave my desk often just to get up and walk around.  Now I seem perfectly content to sit for hours at a time.  At home, it’s the same thing.  Usually I’m in the mood to get home and cook a nice meal, help clean up, walk the dog and maybe take care of some chores.  Not so.  I get home and I just want to lay around!  And even thinking about doing simple activities like putting away dishes seems like it takes so much energy!  So the thought of going running…well, lets just say that I get out the door because I really do want to.  But I really don’t feel like it!

 Then there’s the pain in my breasts.  Sometimes just walking will make them ache and its becoming harder to sleep on them and when I run…OUCH!  I’ve started doubling up my sports bras and that seemed to make a huge difference at first.  But now it just seems to help a little.  That first mile they seem to hurt the worst and then as I get going it seems to get better.  A couple weeks ago I wouldn’t even notice them at the end of the run but now I still do.  Its just more of a dull ache than it was at the beginning. 

 Then there’s just the general feeling of laziness I have.  I seem to be able to get through a couple miles ok, but after that I just want to sit on the ground and not get back up.  Seriously!  I’m getting tired after a few miles of easy running.  And its not that anything in particular is bothering me.  My lungs seem ok, I know that my heart rate is faster and I’ve supposedly got more blood circulating through my system, all of which you would think would make running seem really easy.  But it just feels “hard”.  I just get “tired” and want to stop!  I push through it and am always glad that I did, but I didn’t know that pregnancy would have these effects. 

 Monday I did 5 miles and had to stop during the last half mile.  For what?  I don’t know.  I just felt like I couldn’t run another step without stopping for a few seconds?  Today I got through 4 miles with Tim without stopping but the last mile was hard.  Tomorrow I’m even more nervous since I’ll be running 6 by myself!  How will I stay motivated?  So crazy!  This is just not me!

 All in all though, I’m not complaining.  I love being pregnant and really want it to get to the 12 week mark so I feel better about not losing the baby.  We have our first appointment tomorrow and I’m excited and nervous at the same time.  The ultrasound is not until Friday, but they will do a pelvic exam as well as take blood and urine samples so we should at least be able to get some good indications as to how things are going. 

 My sister knows now.  I wasn’t going to tell her but she caught me not drinking at her bachelorette party and it was pretty obvious.  She was really excited and cried so it was at least a special moment.  I just hope we can keep it from everyone next weekend at her wedding.

Wow, I’m already 6 weeks preggo!  Still so exciting…and nerve wracking.  All sorts of crazy dreams last night.    

My running this week has been going pretty well.  I did feel bad about my friend Darla.  She’s been progressively getting slower and I want to help her but I don’t think she wants my advice.  Its hard.  We ran together on Tuesday and I was only going three miles and we ran with some others and we were going 8:20-8:30 pace and she kept complaining that we were “flying.”  I don’t need to be going fast right now but I was barely sweating and didn’t feel like I did very much.  She asked me to run with her again yesterday if I didn’t mind going “slow” and I had to be honest and tell her that if I’m only going a few miles and all my runs are easy I need to run a little faster.  She seemed to understand, but I still felt bad.  I’d like to help her get fast again but it would probably require her doing something different and I’m not going to offer my advice unless she asks for it.   

My sister is coming home this weekend until her wedding and I have her bachelorette party on Saturday night.  I’m looking forward to it, should be fun.  It will be interesting pretending to drink but hopefully I’ll pull it off.  I’ll feel so much better if we get through the next 6 weeks and can start telling people and feeling more confident about the pregnancy.

The weeks seem so long and the weekends so short these days…

 Tim and I had a pretty good weekend.  On Friday we had dinner with Val and Derek and then Tim helped Derek set up a tent for their party the next day.  My tiredness is definitely becoming more noticeable.  I was a little crabby when we were getting home and all I could think of was sleep.

 We woke up early the next morning to go watch Tim’s brother, Joe and sister, Mackenzie in a triathlon and it was so hard to get out of bed!  Tim and I ran during some of the triathlon and it just felt like I wanted it to be done.  Some of that I’m sure was because it was in the high 80’s so it was pretty uncomfortable.  Either way, I got my 1^st 6 mile run in, which was very nice.  Standing around talking after the tri though I started to feel dizzy and like I really needed to sit down and drink water so I did. Tim stopped at a gas station and bought us some bottled water.  Hit the spot.

 Later in the day I took a half a sleeping pill and actually napped for maybe close to a couple hours.  It could have/should have been longer but sometimes once I’m awake I have a hard time getting back to sleep but it felt so good to sleep.  It was hard to get myself motivated to get ready for Val’s party, but of course once we got there I had a great time.

 I wasn’t really all that hungry, I kind of felt more full and bloated but I ate a full dinner plate and surprised myself by having a piece of cake and loving it.  I’m usually not a cake person at all but for some reason it tasted sooo good.  We stayed till close to 1 am and I pretended to drink so the end was hard because I was really tired and wanted to go to bed, but I did have a great time.

 Sunday morning the heat finally broke and I went for a nice 28 mile bike ride.  I actually passed a guy and I wasn’t really going that fast and he felt the need to catch back up to me and tell me it was his “easy” day.  I could have told him “yeah, me too…I’m preggo!” but that would have ruined my fun inside joke. 

 Sunday I finally did some of my core work out and that felt good again and then we went to my parent’s house for dinner.  The tiredness was unbelievable and we got home and went to bed early. 

 Yesterday I set my alarm for 5:30 am to get up and get 4 miles in before it got hot but my leg was kind of tight by/on my IT band so I waited and ran at lunch.  It wasn’t too bad.  It was in the 80’s but most of my run was in the shade.  Everything felt pretty good.

 Today I’ll run with Darla at noon.  It will be my first time running with her in a while.  Yesterday afternoon I felt kind of nauseous but it seemed to be ok once I got home and had dinner.  This morning I felt different too.  Its hard to explain but I had to slowly sip my water this morning.  Things in my body definitely feel different.  I’m so anxious to get through the first trimester so we can tell people and also because the risk of miscarriage goes down significantly at that point.  

Me and my gorgeous friend Val at her 30th

Its been an interesting week for me.  On Monday I had a sore, scratchy throat and went to the med center to be tested for strep.  It was negative.  I worked from home on Tuesday because on Monday night I had a hard time sleeping due to the throat and thought for sure I was coming down with something.  My throat bothered me most of the day on Tuesday and I drank tons of water and took it real easy.  I tried going for a short, easy run but it didn’t go very well and I only ended up going a little over a mile.  Not related to my IT band or anything I just didn’t feel “right”.

 Went to the chiropractor later and told him my news and he was full of information (especially since he and his wife are expecting their 5^th).  It reassured me a lot about running through the pregnancy.  Still the heat is a concern. 

 Yesterday morning I paced Darla through a 5K and while we didn’t really go “fast” for me, it was over 90 when we were running.  It made me real nervous.  I was taking it super easy and felt fine but the heat alone had me concerned.  I took my temp several times yesterday and made sure to drink lots of water.  Its just sort of nerve wracking in these early stages of pregnancy.

 We were able to tell Val and Derek yesterday so that was nice to share our news.  It sort of made it feel more real.

 My throat seemed to be doing much better yesterday and today although I will get stuffy from time to time.  Its strange.  My breasts were so very sore on my run this morning.  I ran early to escape some of the heat.  I’m also just feeling sort of “bleh”.  Slight headache, mild cramping, sort of upset tummy, but not really nauseous…maybe just a little queasy.  If it means the baby’s healthy I’m all for it.  Oh and I’m TIRED!  Not like “want to crash at my desk and fall asleep tired, but more like “lazy” don’t have the energy for the easiest tasks, tired.  Like I said, if its good for baby, I can deal with it!

4 weeks pregnancy photo!

July, fantastic July!  I don’t think in my life I’ve ever been happy to mark off the days of summer. 

 Saturday went really well.  I ran the Reeds Lake 5K and I worked really hard to make sure I wasn’t overdoing it.  I felt good.  I was definitely running harder than a jog in the park but kept trying to make sure I wasn’t breathing too hard and that I could still have a conversation.  I didn’t have anyone around me to talk to so I decided to try encouraging other runners.  When my voice came out strong and not breathless I felt like I was keeping it in control.  In the end I ran 6:33 pace, which would have been under 20:30 but Tim and I both had the course as long.  It was a little hard for me to not go faster, I’ll admit it.  Seeing people out there in front of me…I just naturally try to pull myself in, but I kept looking at my watch and forcing myself to back off when the pace got faster or my breathing seemed labored.  And my legs felt pretty good!  I got my first 5 miles in, with the 2 mile warm up and the 3.1 mile “race”.  My breasts were hurting pretty bad when I started the warm up, but I didn’t notice it much after the 1^st mile.

 I ran on Sunday morning and it actually felt harder than it did the day before.  I wasn’t sore from the run at Reeds at all, but I had a side cramp and I think it was just kind of humid on Sunday.  I also did a 26 mile bike ride on Sunday, though much slower than I’ve been riding.  That’s ok, it felt good.  I’m nervous about working out too hard. 

 I called the doctor this morning for my 1^st appointment!  I left a message and I left my wrong phone number!  Call it pregnancy brain already!  Waiting on them to call me back.  I really just want to get to the doctor and get passed these next few weeks so I feel better about the baby’s chance of survival.  I wonder if all mother’s think and worry like this?  My cramps are getting less and less and I wonder if that’s a good thing or not?  Its so crazy.  All this stuff for something that’s about the size of a sesame seed!  I can’t wait until that first doctor’s appointment.  I think that will make it seem more real.

 We’re seeing Val and Derek on Wednesday for the 4^th and I think we’re going to tell them.  Even though its early, they will notice if I’m not drinking, plus it will be good for me to talk to her since she just went through it, as a runner too. 

Baby’s First 5K!

Tonight after work I’m biking with Carol.  I’m just nervous to make sure I don’t go too hard, but I think it will be fine.  I’m not quite ready to tell her yet, but realize it may come up and I’m not sure what I’ll say.

Well…its now been confirmed by 3 pregnancy tests!  All of them say “pregnant”! 

 I told Tim last night and he was very much in shock and didn’t react a lot but that’s how he usually is with things so I know he’s really happy.  Life is changing…very quickly.

 I feel a little under the weather today.  Its hard to describe.  I’m not feeling nausea but I do have some persistent cramping and am very tired and just feel kind of “uncomfortable”.  So I guess I’d better get used to that.

Ok…so…I couldn’t wait any longer (or at least I didn’t want to because I couldn’t think of anything else).  So on my lunch today I went to the company store and bought a couple pregnancy test.  I stopped drinking water for 3 hours then went into the work bathroom and tested….AND IT WAS POSITIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 I’m so excited I could literally jump up and down but probably shouldn’t! 

 I haven’t even told Tim yet but am going to do so as soon as I get home.  We’re having dinner with my family tonight but its too soon to tell them yet.  Plus with my sister’s wedding coming up in a few weeks, I don’t want to steal her thunder with my news.

 But I’m just elated and overjoyed and feeling all these things and wishing it was 5 pm already so I could go home and have fun with my news!

 Obviously, its still very early so a lot can still go wrong, but right now I’m just thrilled.  We were able to get pregnant.  That in and of itself is a reason to celebrate.  We’ve known so many that have struggled with infertility for months and years and I just feel incredibly blessed right now that it happened for us.  Well, this changes things for Reeds Lake.  I’m going to have to find out how hard I can run without risking the baby’s health.  Oh my gosh!  I’m pregnant!  I still can’t believe it!  I’ll take another test in the morning to confirm it and hurry to see a doctor.  Oh, and funny thing…the baby is due on March 7^th, 2013…my BIRTHDAY!  What’s even crazier is that I was due on my Dad’s birthday, but came early.  Had I been on time, I would have shared a birthday with my dad and grandpa. 

 Wow, this changes everything.  I’m still just glowing and don’t know what to think.  I’m nervous too.  I don’t want to do anything wrong!

 I know it sounds crazy, but I just had a “feeling” that I was pregnant.  Especially after that dream I had last week.  My breasts have been sore and tender for a week, but that’s pretty typical when I’m expecting my period.  I’ve felt tired too, but it didn’t seem all that unusual, especially considering how much sleep I sometimes get (like last night).  The biggest thing for me I think was a slight cramping I’m feeling in my uterus.  Its not all the time, but its often and its not bad like menstrual cramps but its noticeable, like my uterus is stretching.

 SOOO excited!!!!  Can’t wait to tell Tim! 

After I shared the news with Tim!

So last week at Wayland I ran my two miles and they went relatively well.  But later and all through the evening I had lower back/leg pain.  It was pretty bad so I took a couple naproxen so I could get to sleep at night.  I woke up feeling fine.  Saturday I went 3 miles for the first time with Tim.  We averaged about 7:20 pace and it felt pretty good.  It actually felt better during the third mile like it loosened up?  But again, on Saturday night we were at a retirement party and my low back pain crept back in!  Took a couple naproxen again to get to sleep and woke up Sunday morning feeling great!

 Monday I ran at work on my lunch break and it was HOT but it did feel pretty good, not GREAT but seemingly better than before.  The best part: no low back pain later.  I did bike with my friend Carol after work too.  Maybe that helped? 

 Wayland for tonight was cancelled due to the extreme heat.  Tim and I are still planning on running though this evening, 3 for me, 6 for him.  We’ll see if the low back pain comes back tonight. 

 In other news, there’s no news yet. Yesterday I started thinking about it a lot.  This morning I noticed tender breasts, ever so slightly.  It doesn’t really give me any clues as to whether or not I’m actually pregnant because I get them every month, but if I feel the progesterone swing it at least calms me down a little bit that its occurring so hopefully everything is working as its supposed to. 

 I had a dream last night that we found a baby that had been left out in the woods and it had some kind of injury and had poles on its legs.  I picked it up and was going to care for it.  I brought it inside to change its diaper and give it a bath (wasn’t sure if it was a male or female and never did find out) and when I lifted its shirt there were obvious signs of malnourishment/disease!  It was scary but I still had such a desire in this dream for caring for this poor child.  So my mind/emotions are trying to work out my maternal desires.  I do have to admit I was talking to the chiropractor yesterday about running and my goals and felt myself longing for that again.  Wanting to push myself and compete and feel strong again and see how much I can achieve and I wondered if I wanted that more than being a mom.  I know I don’t though.  I want both.  I want to be a mom and I’m scared/nervous about the effects a pregnancy will have on me and my performance.  At the same time though I think I feel so strongly about competing that my desires to get healthy will give me that motivation to get right back into it.  And if it all doesn’t work out, I can always adopt. That feeling of love and nurturing in the dream was so strong so I think I would really love and care for someone else’s baby if that were the way to go.  I should know though in about another week….