Hot Summer 6/20/12

So last week at Wayland I ran my two miles and they went relatively well.  But later and all through the evening I had lower back/leg pain.  It was pretty bad so I took a couple naproxen so I could get to sleep at night.  I woke up feeling fine.  Saturday I went 3 miles for the first time with Tim.  We averaged about 7:20 pace and it felt pretty good.  It actually felt better during the third mile like it loosened up?  But again, on Saturday night we were at a retirement party and my low back pain crept back in!  Took a couple naproxen again to get to sleep and woke up Sunday morning feeling great!

 Monday I ran at work on my lunch break and it was HOT but it did feel pretty good, not GREAT but seemingly better than before.  The best part: no low back pain later.  I did bike with my friend Carol after work too.  Maybe that helped? 

 Wayland for tonight was cancelled due to the extreme heat.  Tim and I are still planning on running though this evening, 3 for me, 6 for him.  We’ll see if the low back pain comes back tonight. 

 In other news, there’s no news yet. Yesterday I started thinking about it a lot.  This morning I noticed tender breasts, ever so slightly.  It doesn’t really give me any clues as to whether or not I’m actually pregnant because I get them every month, but if I feel the progesterone swing it at least calms me down a little bit that its occurring so hopefully everything is working as its supposed to. 

 I had a dream last night that we found a baby that had been left out in the woods and it had some kind of injury and had poles on its legs.  I picked it up and was going to care for it.  I brought it inside to change its diaper and give it a bath (wasn’t sure if it was a male or female and never did find out) and when I lifted its shirt there were obvious signs of malnourishment/disease!  It was scary but I still had such a desire in this dream for caring for this poor child.  So my mind/emotions are trying to work out my maternal desires.  I do have to admit I was talking to the chiropractor yesterday about running and my goals and felt myself longing for that again.  Wanting to push myself and compete and feel strong again and see how much I can achieve and I wondered if I wanted that more than being a mom.  I know I don’t though.  I want both.  I want to be a mom and I’m scared/nervous about the effects a pregnancy will have on me and my performance.  At the same time though I think I feel so strongly about competing that my desires to get healthy will give me that motivation to get right back into it.  And if it all doesn’t work out, I can always adopt. That feeling of love and nurturing in the dream was so strong so I think I would really love and care for someone else’s baby if that were the way to go.  I should know though in about another week….

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