Finally October, 10/1/12

October is finally here!  My favorite month of the year for so many different reasons. 

 Last week was kind of challenging running wise.  All of my runs seemed to be a little slower.  Not a huge drop in pace, but more like 7:40-7:55 per mile instead of staying closer to my 7:30 average.  I thought it was finally happening due to the pregnancy.  I have to admit that I was just a little bummed but tried not to let it get to me.  I mean its not like I didn’t know that would happen eventually, but I guess I hoped I’d hold it off a little longer.

 On Thursday though and I had a great run!  The alarm went off at 5 and I just didn’t feel like running so I asked Tim if he wanted to run and he said “no.”  So I reset the alarm for an hour later and slept in!  It felt great, then I brought my clothes and ran at lunch time.  It was still pretty cool out, in the mid 50’s so it still was very nice.  I’ve been finding its been harder to run lately and not have to use the bathroom at some point so I actually decided to run on the trail to the little park since I knew there was a bathroom!  I started running and felt great and then noticed my pace was in the low 7’s.  I didn’t even have to use the bathroom and on my second lap I even passed a guy who said to me “I’m breaking a record here and you’re passing me like I’m standing still!”  It felt so good and it was just what I needed. 

 The next morning I was horrified though when I stepped on the scale.  I had gained close to 3 pounds in a week!  I tried not to flip out about it.  I had eaten at a Mexican restaurant the night before and told myself it was probably just a fluke and that the next week I’d be right back on track.  With that huge jump I am now up just over 9 pounds so far.  Over the weekend it felt like my belly just popped too!  This morning I definitely am very round in my middle.   

 Over the weekend we went camping with our friends Val and Derek and their 8 month old, Brooklyn.  We brought our dogs and stayed in their camper—it was a fun weekend except that both Val and Derek were sick!  I felt bad, but at least no one minded that we took it kind of easy on Saturday night.  I ran 11 miles on Saturday!  My longest run since the injury and being pregnant.  Val ran with me the first 5.5 miles.  I forgot how fast she likes to run and all of a sudden we were going like a 7:18 pace up and down hills and I was breathing pretty hard so I swallowed my pride and had to ask if we could slow down.  The rest of the run I ran by myself but still kept up a good pace, most of the time about 7:30 unless I was going up a large hill (there were plenty of them!).  Over the whole 11 miles I averaged 7:35 pace which I was very happy with.  I felt pretty good too and didn’t get too tired later in the day.

 This morning I did get up at 5 am and get my run in!  It was 39 degrees, which is as cold as its been so I wasn’t exactly “looking forward” to it, but I was so happy I did it and felt pretty good.  I went 8 miles and averaged the same 7:37 pace per mile I’ve been averaging on that same loop for the past few weeks.   

I just went and completed my yearly health physical for our company insurance discount.  Last year they did blood pressure and all this other stuff but this year they just did height and weight to calculate your BMI.  Well, even with my pregnancy weight gain I passed.  So that felt good.  They actually don’t give you a pregnancy factor but said you can take a pregnancy pass if you don’t qualify while you’re pregnant.  So, that was a relief.  They even said that next year after I’ve had the baby I can use my “pregnancy pass” if I don’t make it.  I’m thinking in my head, “No, I better qualify then too!”  LOL. 

 I know that part of pregnancy is gaining weight and slowing down and adjusting to this huge bump in your belly.  I’m prepared for that, but honestly I’m already thinking forward to after delivery and wanting to get back to running and lose the weight really quickly.  I know I can’t get my hopes up because I could have a complicated delivery and have to take more time off—but I’m really hoping it goes smooth and I can start running again in a few days.  Its just that I have so much I want to do and I really do miss being in such great shape and crushing workouts and having something really big on the calendar to train for. 

 I’m also kind of worried that if I take a long break I won’t go back at it with the same intensity and passion I had before.  Having a baby changes your life and there will suddenly be this person completely dependent on me that I love more than anything in the world.  That may change my perspective on how important running is.  I’m afraid I’ll just get into “Mommy Mode” and put the running way far on the back burner.  I guess I think that if I have something to train for, some strong motivation I’ll really WANT to do it. 

 I know its important as a mom and as a person to live a balanced life.  If you devote 100% of your time or energy to just one thing or one area I don’t think you’re living life as fully as you were meant to.  People that devote all their energy to work often have personal lives that are lacking or strained.  While family is absolutely the most important to me, I don’t want it to be the ONLY thing about me either. 

 If I just go to work and come home and its either “worker me” or “mommy me” I think I lose out on a big part of who I am and then I don’t think you’re the best version of yourself in ANY area.  Its important to me to experience challenging work and career success.  It feels good to me and boosts my confidence and makes me generally happier with life.  Running does the same thing and I think I’ll be a better mom, better wife, better friend if I’m able to balance all of these areas.  I don’t ever want to feel trapped or like I’m just “so and so’s mom.”  I also never want to feel like being a parent is a job.  It’s the most important thing I’ll ever do and I want to be doing it with the best version of myself possible.  And if that means taking time for myself, I can’t feel guilty about that.  Besides I need to take care of myself and be healthy and a good example to my child. 

  I see some women with kids who really seem to have it all together.  They somehow stay fit and always look polished, have a great career and still manage to “date” their husbands.  They still take time for themselves, have lots of friends and participate in some hobby.  That’s who I want to be and I hope I can pull it all off.

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