As I sit here feeling nauseous and tired, I can’t believe that its already past the middle of August and I’m 11.5 weeks pregnant!
Today is my day off of running but its odd. It seems that I actually end up feeling worse the days I don’t run in the morning. The rest of the week my runs were pretty average, nothing all that exciting to talk about. The main thing for me was just getting up in the morning and getting them in because it was really hard this week. My alarm would go off at 5:20 am and I just did not feel like getting up yet. Of course, once I was out there in the cool air and quiet night it always felt good, and felt even better stretching in the kitchen when it was all over. Still, I was looking very forward to today, my day off. I got to sleep in till 6 am (well almost, problem for me is when I wake up at 5:20 most mornings sometimes my body wants to just wake up at that time when I don’t have to) but when I woke up I had a headache and have not felt so great all morning. It should be almost over though…I hope by this time next week all these feelings of queasiness will be just a distant memory.
Every Friday morning also happens to be the day each week I weigh myself. The last two weeks I hadn’t really gained anything and actually my weight had gone down, but this week it was back up. So in total, over 11.5 weeks I’ve gained 3.6 pounds. This is so far right in the range its supposed to be for the first trimester. My clothes still fit but they do seem to be fitting a bit more “snug” around the waist. Outwardly, I don’t think anyone could tell that I’m pregnant, but to me, I definitely can notice it. Its most noticeable to me after I’ve just eaten because the size of my uterus now pushes everything up and out a little bit. Its also this strange sort of “fullness” that I can see and feel in myself. Sometime this week was when my uterus was supposed to rise out and up a little bit and I felt it stretching all day on Tuesday and now I can feel this hard, almost muscle like “bubble” just below my belly button. Its not very large, it just feels hard to me and not squishy. I know it sounds strange, but I’m actually looking forward to having a distinct belly that I can see.
This week I felt a little guilty about some of my eating. I visited my friend Carol on Monday after work and her niece was there and made cupcakes and I took two home, one for Tim and we ate them for dessert that night. Then on Wednesday my co-worker made cupcakes too (with peanut butter inside) and I did honestly try to resist, but ultimately the peanut butter won in the end. I tried to justify it to myself by only eating half in the morning and half for dessert later that night so that my sugar levels wouldn’t spike so much. I had a lunch meeting that day and ordered a chicken parmesan sandwich, which was delicious and took the rest home for dinner. Then yesterday we had an off-site all day meeting and they served pizza for lunch (YUM!) and had ice cream sandwiches in the afternoon (double yum). I did feel sort of guilty but normally I’m so strict with my diet and am always thinking about performance, and well…now I kind of have an excuse and its not going to last forever, so why not make the best of it?
Then this morning I read this thing on one of my pregnancy apps on my phone that says when you are preggo your body has to work harder than normal to combat sugar spikes and it can lead to gestational diabetes. I have to know though that most of the time I really do eat healthy and do watch my sugar intake. I really want to eat healthy for my little one. Sometimes I do feel social pressures when there are treats involved to indulge, even if I don’t want to. I don’t really care for cake and I don’t like donuts. And since I know they are not good for me, I usually have no problem not eating them. However, because of my thin build people are often “pressuring” me to “just eat it” saying things like “you of all people can use it.” I know it will only get worse once everyone knows that I’m pregnant. I can already hear the “You’re eating for two now!” But, I KNOW that really, eating for “two” only means an extra 300 calories a day, which is really not that much when you think about it. Also, while you do need “more” calories and nutrients, eating extra empty calorie foods is bad for baby. Still, there are plenty of people that don’t want to hear that and want to use pregnancy as an excuse to eat whatever they want, whenever they want. And that typically leads to gestational diabetes, and excessive weight gain, which is not good for momma or baby.
I know that I need to gain weight during the course of pregnancy and so far I’ve been pacing right on track. I know that I’ll need to gain about 25 pounds and I’m ok with that. I’m not going to be one of those “pregarexics” or whatever they’re called. But I just don’t want to gain more than is healthy for me and baby. After I deliver, maybe I’m naïve, but I want to lose the weight as quickly as healthfully possible and get back into peak running shape, also as quickly as possible. We’ll see how it all goes!