August is here.  I can’t believe the summer is in its last month.  I’m looking so forward to the fall though that I really don’t mind.  Fall is my favorite season anyway.

 Last night at Wayland was harder than I thought for a couple reasons.  It was only maybe 85 and humid yet I’ve been doing most of my runs in the early morning when it’s a lot cooler.  Tim and I warmed up and I immediately felt tired.  And it always makes me a little nervous running in the heat and worrying about the baby and how to tell if I’m getting over heated. 

 The second reason it was hard was because we did a 2 mile event, on the track and it was really hard to not go faster.  I was running in the back of the pack and while I knew in my head I was doing it for the right reasons, it was so hard for me not to creep up on everyone.  I’m competitive.  I wanted to run 6:30 pace for 2 miles but I ended up running faster the first mile.  I thought a lot about controlling my breathing and effort and it didn’t feel that hard.  I felt like I could still talk but the fact that it was warmer weather than I’m used to did make me nervous.  I kept telling myself what was important, the baby, not this event.  I felt like I didn’t push it too hard but it was on my mind somewhat the rest of the night.  I even had this dream where I went an got an ultrasound because I was so worried about the baby.  On the ultrasound everything was fine, and the nurse told me that it was a boy.  I remember being confused because I knew it was way too early to tell!  Dreams are strange, yet they somehow seem to get to the root of our thoughts and fears, even those we’re keeping to ourselves.  I didn’t tell anyone, even Tim about my nervousness because I’m afraid he’ll worry too and ask me if I was going to hard.  Level of perceived effort and the effects of heat on the body are hard things to monitor on yourself just by gut feelings. 

 Today I’ve had some light cramping off and on but no bleeding.  Still, the cramping makes me slightly nervous even though I tell myself its just my uterus stretching!  3 more weeks and I’ll feel so much better about all of this!

 I ran 5 miles this morning by myself and let me tell you, after running semi hard last night, it was definitely hard getting out of bed and getting going this morning.  My legs were pretty tired afterwards.  Still I much more enjoy already having the run behind me and running in 68 degree weather vs 84 degree weather that I would have had at lunch time. 

 I sure do hope the fall gets here fast.